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Concure Baltazar Vol 1 - Chapter 1 and 2

2023-12-05 00:29:13

It seems interesting, but the info dump at the start... Would be too much even for a book, and for comics that are supposed to be visuals more than text, it's WAY too much. It's better when the worldbuilding is shown through characters, their experience and viewpoints. By the next page the reader will forget half of that history you poured on the first one.
At the beginning, I think it's enough to give the map (the map is actually most always a wise choice) and some more or less specific location where the character is. The rest of the history or geography is unnecessary to hook the reader with the first page. It can even scare them

SnoopRamen responds:

Yeah, the info was too much from the start. I should start with the focus on characters first for their goals. I should minimize text to give a clear context on what's going on from the start. As for the map in the beginning you just mentioned shows the past of the history of my worldbuilding. I forgot to place city names. As for the mc, I think I would keep his birthplace a secret for the future spoilers. Thanks for the criticism! (Oh, and also, I put your comment in my criticism notice document, so I won't forget to make this same mistake again.)

Comm 2/3 Q4 2023